It's really interesting.. my body needs food.. it's crying out for food..
but I'm here.. at the computer.. trying to type this out.  Why?  I dunno.. I
guess cuz I figure it's more important to type this than to eat.  But I need
my food to think well in my classes.. the first of which I missed today..
skipped rather.. Sometimes I think.. "gosh am I pathetic".. others.. I think
worse.. but it basically comes down to.. "what am I doing with my life?"
   I keep thinking about what I saw on the weekend.  This rather overweight
guy with white hair.. saying how comparing ourselves to Christ would be like
comparing a gnat to Mount Everest.  And though this might be true... the
tone he used when expressing this comparison just struck me.  I mean.. is
this what Jesus wants us thinking?  Does He really want us thinking we're so
small and He's so big?  Or that we're so much a nothing and He's so much a
something?  -- cuz that's what it sounded like this pastor was relating..
the notion that we really aren't worth that much.
   It's no wonder why there are so many people out there who hate
Christians.. and Christ.  We are constantly belittling everyone.. casting
them down.. showing them how little they really mean in the great scheme of
things.  After all.. what would the world change if even one of us vanished?
Would anyone even care?
   I know Quadrillions of people that would.  These people may not be so
visible these days.. but they are there.  They're the angels... God, Jesus,
and God's Spirit.
   Now.. some of you may be thinking, "Oh what does it matter if an angel
cares about me.. after all.. angels don't think for themselves... they just
do what God tells them to do."  But ya know.. if the angels on God's side
are just the same type of angel as the ones who rebelled and left with
Lucifer.. then they *do* think.. the only thing is, they goin the right
direction rather than the wrong one.
   I've often wondered.. do angels ever make mistakes?  I'm betting they
do.. but far less than we do down here.  I mean.. they're not God.. so it
make sense that they *would* make mistakes here and there, right?
   So what about these quadrillions of angels... is it really worth having
them on our side?  My mind thinks back to the story of Elisha and his
servant.. and how the Syrians sent an army to destroy him.  But what
happened?  Elisha wasn't worried because he could see into the spirit
realm.. and he saw angels on chariots of fire all around the entire mountain
and city.  After all.. wouldn't you want to have a legion of angels to fight
for you?
   Thing is.. a lot of us refuse to give them the chance.  We go our own
way.. doing our own thing.. hoping that God supports it.. when God is really
there and really truly available to show us the way if we're really willing
to see it.
   Ok.. here's one of the bigger problems.  As you probably know.. there are
an awful lot of people out there who claim to be Christians but know very
little about who Jesus really is.  And when it comes to actually knowing
Him, they're even further off.  Why?  It's purty simple.. everyone says they
know Him.. pastors far and wide teach about Him.. and you figger that these
pastors gotta know Him cuz they have so many ppl there listening to what
they're saying.  But far too often, these pastors know more facts than
truth.. that is.. they may have knowledge of the Bible.. but they don't
really know Jesus in their hearts.  And if they know Him at all.. they
usually brush Him aside.. thinking, "That can't be Him.. He's too generous..
or too kind.. or too loving.."  It's just amazing how much people are
confused about who Jesus really is.  Course.. Jesus said it would be that
way.  He said that few ever make it to the end of the narrow road.. I guess
that's because most of us settle for our own desires rather than His... 
   So where does this take us?  Well.. I know where it takes me.. It takes
me to the point of wondering, "Am I seeking to do what He wants, or what I
want?"  "Do I really want to know Him?  or my own image of Him only?"  "Does
my life really show that I love Him?  Or am I more interested in loving
myself?"  I ask these questions far too seldom.. I'm seemingly more
interested in my next pleasure-fix.. whether it comes from a spendy meal..
or a fun programming project.. or a big nap.  I prefer these things to
finding out what Jesus really wants and who He really is.  Why?  I think
it's simple.. I haven't really been willing to chase the world out of me
enough.  I prefer doing worldly things to doing what He wants.  After all..
worldly things are often easier.. and provide pleasure far faster.
   But that's just the thing.. pleasure.  It's not the be-all and end-all of
life that we all make it out to be.  Unfortunately, this society, and many
others like it put pleasure so high on the list that we easily exalt it to
godhood.  We love to taste well-prepared food... we enjoy our long naps.. we
relish in doing things that are "fun".. but do we really get much from these
things other than the pleasure?
   I mean think about it.  What is really gained for our lives or anybody
else's when we seek pleasure to an end in itself.  If we are all seeking
pleasure.. we're basically just spinning wheels and getting nowhere.. if not
going backwards.  This is not to say that good pleasure is bad for us.. but
it is important to acknowledge who is really "God" in our lives.. especially
if it's not truly God, Himself.
   I know that God has a lot planned for me.. and that I have a lot I can do
for Him... but as I think over my life.. I see days upon weeks of years
wasted in the mere pursuit of pleasure.  I do it why?  Because it feels
good.  Not because it's what God wants.. but because it's my next "drug-fix"
of pleasure.  After all.. pleasure is really most often a combination of
chemicals reacting in the brain isn't it?  So what makes pleasure
worthwhile?
   If you don't believe in an afterlife, then of course, it's simple to come
to the conclusion that pleasure is the only thing to live for.  Because if
there's no consequences to this life.. it doesn't matter what we do here..
so long as we had fun.
   And if you believe in reincarnation.. in samsara (the continual death and
rebirth into new forms of life of a single soul) then you realize the notion
that you don't have to try too hard.. you have an infinite number of
lifetimes to make it to Heaven.
   But these two roads are so misleading.. because they deny the truth.. the
truth that we have only one life to live.. and that we will be judged for
everything we do *with* this one life.. as well as everything we don't do.
God has plans for us.. and if we don't go where He wants us going.. and we
make this a practice.. we'll have quite a lot to answer for come judgement
day.
   So what are we to do?  I mean.. how does a person really get to know God?
Well I can tell you how one doesn't.  You don't get to know God by riding on
someone else's devotion.. or knowledge.. or inspiration.  You don't get to
know God through depending on someone else to know Him for you.. and then at
the end say, "I knew your servant so-and-so".. when God is looking for those
who can honestly say, "I know You."
   From what I've learned.. the actual pursuit of God is one that nobody can
do for us.  And in this lazy society.. we are all interested in someone to
do our jobs when we have to.  So.. we have millions of people going to
church.. hoping to ride on the coat-tails of preachers who seem very Godly..
when in truth, these preachers know more about God than they actually know
*of* God.  If you're in a church where you can sit back, relax, and be
whatever you want and still be there.. you're in a really poor excuse for a
church.  A good church will challenge you.. but as well, help you when
you're down.  A true church will not let you sit on your rear end and become
what you want to be when it disagrees with God's own desires.. A true church
will direct you to God.. and if you don't want to listen.. you'll find
yourself either moving to another church, or nearly about to.
   The problem with most "true churches" I've found.. is that they are so
into seeking God that they forget their fellow man.  They are more
interested in adding to their numbers of converts than they are in helping
their brother or sister or even neighbor when they are down.  We leave
behind tons of people who could use our help, but simply don't measure up to
our standard of "what is a real Christian."  Of course.. this is not to say
that everyone out there who needs help is someone we should be spending a
lot of time with.  God made it quite clear through Christ that we need to
not be involved in casting our pearls before swine.. or giving what is holy
to the dogs.. basically.. those who truly are more interested in stuffing
their faces.. or eating up their neighbor when he tries to help.. we need to
stay away from.  Unfortunately.. even this analogy gets twisted and we
overlap so many people to being dogs and swine that we don't talk to anyone.
   So what do we do?  I think what we need to do is simple.. yet never easy.
We need to be in prayer.. real prayer.. far more often.  And I don't mean
petitional prayer.. always asking God.. or even telling God, "I need this,
gimme that.. can I please get thus and so?"  We need to be far more willing
to let God change our hearts.. so that we can look at our neighbor.. and not
see a convert needing to be won.. but see a person who is much like us.. who
needs love just like we do.. but doesn't know the One who has so much love
to give.  We gotta stop putting ourselves on podiums and platforms above our
fellow man.. after all.. Nobody is really any better than anyone else when
it comes to being human.. right?  With the exception of Christ, Himself, of
course.
   Well.. that's my thinking for today.  Maybe it'll inspire you to write up
your own thoughts.  Hopefully it'll challenge you to become more of the
person God wants you to be.  I know the words challenge me.
   I guess in closing I'll say.. that no matter what happens.. God's hand
isn't gone from our world.. but we need to realize that most of the time..
He uses *us* to do His work.  And if we're not going to listen and love
those who most need it... what right do we have to ask God to love us?